What I learned in El Salvador

I have been "decompressing" the last few days upon my return from El Salvador.  I intended to get busy right away with writing and painting, but somehow God had a different approach for me.  I veged for two days.  I got sick.  I felt lonely.  I didn't talk much.  My decompression was turning into a depression.

But God stuck with me.  My daily devotions helped.  My daughter called.  I did some substitute teaching.  And emails and texts from friends and team members helped as well.  Until at 3:30 am on the fourth day I got it.  I figured out what God taught me on this trip.

I learned that I have to trust Him with my whole heart, and that He will give it away for me, and I don't have to worry about it.  I learned I should not "hoard" it or "guard" it as some would prefer to say.  I learned my heart as a Christ follower is not mine to protect anyway; it's Christ's.  Protecting or shielding it only keeps it away from its rightful owner. 

In El Salvador, I saw people and situations that broke my heart.  But until now, I failed to realize it was Jesus' heart that was broken.  And when Jesus' heart breaks, He always responds with love, because He is God.  Jesus wants me to respond with love as well whenever my heart breaks.  This has been difficult for me to do in the past, but He is teaching me more and more by His example. 

I came to love the people of El Salvador.  Some were easier to love than others, but I know I need to love them all equally.  This applies to everyone I know.  No matter how difficult it is to love someone, Christ wants to love them through me.  This is what I learned in El Salvador.  El Salvador means "The Savior" in Spanish.

Back, but not done

It's been a week since I came back from El Salvador.  I am posting this because I intend to do a lot of "out of sequence" catching up on this blog.  So you will see more posts about what happened last week, not necessarily in chronological order.  I will also be "borrowing" many photos from my good friend and team mate, Rod Carabott, who is a super talented photographer.

Pastors

What do we admire in a person?  Honesty, diligence, patience, courage, humility?  The list can be a long one.  Seldom do we meet an individual who can impress us with multiple character traits worthy of admiration. 

Leading a group of people in any context is a challenge.  But in the context of the church, it is an even more complex project.  I take my hat off to anyone who has devoted themselves to this life.  Pastors are underestimated in their abilities and capabilities. 

Bernie, who leads our group, has led many other groups on service trips abroad.  He is a retired pastor and has been a tremendous resource to all of us on this trip.  His experience and wisdom have kept our group on track.  He is a great example of what it takes to have a pastor's heart.

Another example is Pastor Santos who leads a local church that we partner with here in El Salvador.  He has suffered from disability and this has given him a special place in his heart for those people in his community with special needs.  He is full of energy and joy when he speaks.  He works hard for his flock.  He has wonderful leadership qualities.  He does not allow circumstances to limit him in seeking ways to serve others.  He is a great example to me.  And he is my friend.

In the past, I have been only too complascent in my selfishness.  I am entering a stage, albeit late in life, in which serving others is more of a priority for me.  The examples of Bernie and Santos are a great encouragement.

Exceeding Expectations

As we prepared for this trip, part of our training dealt with expectations.  We all have them, and the problem sometimes can be that expectations are too high and we should be careful not to be disappointed and  discouraged. 

For me this meant that I should not expect too much from this trip emotionally.  It could just turn out to be a hum-drum experience and not much would come out of it afterwards.  The advice we were given was not to expect too much, and thus we could avoid disappointment. 

I thought initially this was good advice and did not question it much.  I prepared myself emotionally not to get too excited or get shipwrecked by waves of righteous indignation.  I thought, "This is only one of many trips that are made to this country by affluent American Christians, and there would be many more after that.  It's not that big of a deal." 

I thought this before I established relationships with individuals here in El Salvador.  I met Carmen, a 68-year-old man and his brother Pablo, ten years younger.  I watched them work and worked alongside them learning from them.  I talked with them and got to know them.  They became my friends.  When Pablo climbed up on a dangerous pile of bricks to build the wall, I was concerned for him.  I admired his strength when I saw him cut and bend rebar single-handedly.  I needed help doing what he did easily.  He let me use his machete without hesitation to help cut some bamboo.  His brother Pablo asked me to help lay bricks and showed me how.  He joked that this could be my new career.  These men are now my friends.  Now things are different.  It changes everything. 

I'm not sure what to do with advice about expectations now.  Having a friend from El Salvador seems to supercede those concerns.  I like my new friends, and I want to be there for them.  It's as simple as that.

Two days ago...

I had intended to maintain this blog more actively than I have.  But working with a mobile version of Blogger has been difficult, especially for posting photos.  The limited access to Wi-Fi has also been an obstacle.  But I've decided, pictures or not, I would blog away.  So excuse the text-heavy approach from now on.  And if I can get a photo in once in a while, I will do so. 

One of the things I want to express is the incredible bonds that we've established as a team.  Whether it's working together tying rebar, or a late-night conversation, or a prayer during a home visit, coffee together at a local shop, playing games after dinner, or laughing in the van ride back to the city,  we have grown very close to each other and have seen each other grow.  We will cherish our friendships greatly from now on.  And we will work together on our return to make sure this experience has meaning beyond the trip itself. 

The first day was an active one.  We started right away finishing up some excavation for the wall.  Some of us also worked on wiring rebar structures for the foundation and the wall itself.  The students at the school, especially the boys, came up to us curiously smiling and almost begging to interact with us.  We had a lot of fun introducing ourselves during the short breaks when they came out of their classrooms.  The time went fast and we felt a sense of accomplishment even though we only worked until about noon.  We had lunch at a nearby home with a beautiful garden full of fruit trees and palms of all kinds.  It began to rain just as we reached the shelter where we set up.  The gentle shower and lush surroundings reminded me of my tropical childhood in Cuba.  The refreshing rain lasted just long enough to cool things off and we were able to get back to our scheduled activities without delay.

We went on several home visits during the afternoon.  The pastor of the church with whom we partner has a heart for people with disabilities.  He himself has suffered some physical difficulties, and it has made him more acutely aware of the needs of families facing such issues.  In El Salvador, not many concern themselves with disabled people.  They are seemingly discarded, fringe members of society.  But Pastor Sanchez has made it a priority ministry.  He conducted a survey of his community and identified more than 80 people with disabilities in the neighborhood.  He has visited every single one.  We got to know only a few on this day.  It is heart-wrenching to witness the conditions in which these people find themselves.  The homes have dirt floors.  No medical care is readily available.  Food is scarce.  One single mother attempts to make a living by selling snacks at a local school to where she walks.  She has to leave her handicapped daughter with her other daughter who is prevented from attending school because she has to be with her sister.  We left that visit with a heavy heart.

Gumby

Since before we left the US, we've been admonished to remain flexible on our trip.  Plans will tend to go astray, timelines missed, etc.  Gumby's rubbery nature will always remind us to stay flexible and go with the flow.

Our first meeting

We had our first orientation tonight.  Our host Walter briefed us on the history of Enlace and the work being done through local churches throughout El Salvador.  The efforts of fellow believers with compassion toward their neighbors does not go unnoticed.  We will be starting to build some relationships with Salvadorians  tomorrow on which we can build more bridges of hope for a better life here on earth and an eternal destiny with the Creator.